


Silence at the Bottom of the Bottle - a Harry Watson fanmix & ficlet

by tehanu_sky



Series: Sherlock (BBC) fanmixes [4]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Brother-Sister Relationships, Character Study, Dysfunctional Family, Fanmix, Ficlet, Gen, Playlist, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 22:39:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tehanu_sky/pseuds/tehanu_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A writing playlist and opening prologue for my abandoned sibling!angst fic (le sigh). </p><p>This can also serve as a fanmix for the as yet off-screen Harry Watson and for loving and/or being an addict.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence at the Bottom of the Bottle - a Harry Watson fanmix & ficlet

**Author's Note:**

> All female vocalists are Harry's point of view (talking to Clara, John, or herself). All male vocalists are John.

 

 _[Drinking Song](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx5YkCOuCFY) _ \- Jenny Owen Youngs

 _[Hurricane Drunk](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoHV229_DQM)_ \- Florence + the Machine

 _[Cracks (Flux Pavilion remix)](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1VLaXoRRdk)_ \- Freestylers

 _[O' Sister](http://quietube6.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi-crVagUok) - _ City and Colour

 _[Real Bad News](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzQVA1c5eQU)_  - Aimee Mann

 _[Daughter](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkKu9yT2O0c)_ \- Vienna Teng

 _[Song For You](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI_9czYEY4s) _ \- Alexi Murdoch ("Time Without Consequence" version)

 _[Linda Blair Was Born Innocent](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Nv1EPlOpBY) _ \- the Mountain Goats (alternate track - _[Cotton](http://quietube6.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZTslh_e2iE)_ )

 _[Navy Taxi](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuT_eghbNxY) _ \- Kate Nash 

 _[When I was Drinking](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZw3rBiDOGI)_  - Hem

 _[Skin](http://quietube2.com/v.php/http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejlvgSjcEoo) _ \- Boy (acoustic version)

 (Edited 11/27/13)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _Earlier_  
  
The morning she walks out on her wife for good, Harry thinks this might be the farthest she's ever gone.  But she still knows where to go.  She's walked out on a lot of things now.  She’s quite the natural at giving up.  
  
Pub doors, temp jobs, so many shitty flats, a dozen hysterical girlfriends – all have seen the back of her and been glad of it.  She’s perfected the huff, the strut, the “don’t follow me” click in her heels.  Nobody follows, nobody can - really.  Nobody except her fool brother.  
  
Those times, when her grip on reality narrows to the grasp of his arm around her waist, lifting her from the floor of the loo in some anonymous pub, she knows it's only a few hours until she wakes up hungover on his sofa where it's all too bright and too quiet and she has to be herself all through breakfast.  He'll look into her haggard, smeary face over his beans and still love her and she'll be desperate for it to be different.  Sometimes it is, for a while.  
  
Then she’ll get to the next pub, the next way stop, the next fresh face attached to an unbroken heart.  Then it's just a matter of time before she walks out of her life again. She's there now, out walking where the scuzzy lights are dim and growing dimmer. She knows this place: this filthy skip, this park bench, this stranger's bed, this brash and terrible dance music.    
  
Here, in the black, she can drown out the roar of her mind, the sounds of London, the harsh brightness of morning waking up alone, the feel of Clara's hair against her lips and the howling hollow in the center of her chest where there should be something like a heart, something like strength.  
  
But it was poured out of her in pieces, whatever it is that's missing.  Another slosh each time she poured out Mum's bottles into the bin, the sink, the toilet, finally smashing them in the yard.  She never could find the bottom of that mean well, all she could do was try to empty it behind closed doors and try to keep Johnny on the other side of them.  
  
Maybe there is a kind of peace, where ever Mum went, somewhere near the bottom Harry is swimming for so hard herself now. Maybe if she can only get far enough into the hurricane _this time_ he won't be able to come collect his Humpty Dumpty of a sister and put her back together again. Maybe this time she'll get black and blank and beyond and she'll stay there. She won't have to see his face, over those awful beans, still believing in the big sister who couldn't protect him.   
  
She wishes when he finds her this time, at least he won't find all the pieces.

 


End file.
